Al Fin, You Sexy Thing!

18 January 2008

Heidi Cullen's New Ranch: Weather Channel Babe to Open Eco-Brothel for Women -- The Great Gigolo Roundup

(Guest Editorial by Anna Rosannadanna)

Weather Channel climatologist, Heidi Cullen has plans to open an eco-friendly gigolo ranch for women in Nevada. She has felt the need for such a facility for many years, and presumably thanks to global warming, she is now in a financial position to build the ranch. I expect that all the proceeds from the ranch will go to fighting global warming.
The Stud Farm will be “an exclusive resort, and I’ll make it really nice like the Beverly Hills Hotel”, says Heidi. She’s reportedly been looking into green building options, because she doesn’t want “anything polluting”. She believes that women will come to her resort as they would for any getaway- “for bachelorette and birthday parties…or simply because they have the time and the money and they want to get a manicure, a pedicure, and a shag”, she says.

The parrot-loving madam says she’ll run her Stud Farm on wind power because “there’s a need for it”, refers to herself as a “treehugger”, and seems genuinely concerned that her beloved parrots were born into such a polluted world- to which her father replies that “the world is a beautiful garden. It’s just, people are destroying it”.
Tree Hugger

Producer off-camera: Roseanna! That is not Heidi Cullen! It's Heidi Fleiss, the infamous "madame to the stars."

Roseanna: Hmmm? Nevermind!

Anna Roseannadanna channeled by Eco-sex enterprises, a subsidiary of Al Gore Industries.


09 January 2008

Reversible Penis Augments: Biopolymers Designed to Offer More Options

There is never a shortage of advertisements or spam for "penis enlargement" methods. If someone actually invented a safe, inexpensive, natural feeling method that worked--how much money could they make?
Engineers are always searching for materials that display unconventional properties able to satisfy the severe requirements for implantation in the body....The mechanical properties of these polymers make them extremely attractive for many biomedical applications. These so-called shape-memory polymers can be temporarily stretched or compressed into forms several times larger or smaller than their final shape.

Then heat, light or the local chemical environment triggers a transformation into their permanent shape....“My lab studies how altering the chemistry and structure of the polymers affects their chemical, biological and mechanical properties,” said Ken Gall, a professor in the George W. Woodruff School of Mechanical Engineering, who described his research in this area during two presentations at the Materials Research Society’s fall meeting.

...the warmth of the body triggers the polymer’s expansion into its permanent shape, resulting in natural deployment without auxiliary devices. This work was published in the journal Biomaterials earlier this year.

Particular attention must be paid to the biofunctionality, biostability and biocompatibility of these materials, which come into contact with tissue and body fluids, according to a Georgia Institute of Technology press release. Also, polymers more closely resemble soft biological tissue and can be designed to gradually dissolve in the body.

Although the polymers in the article above were designed for other purposes, one can easily see how they could be customised for use in small-to-large, soft-to-hard tissue augmentation.

Future developments would require the development of a reversible bio-polymer, that would change shapes and sizes based upon remote control signals. Of course, if the remote control gets lost behind the cushions inside the sofa at an inopportune time, you may have difficulty sustaining the mood in your partner until you can dig it out.

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