Al Fin, You Sexy Thing!

27 September 2011

The Age of Easy Women

Marriage and family have been falling out of favour for several decades, for a large number of reasons. For one thing, men have always been "easy" -- quick to jump in the sack at every opportunity. Women have been traditionally more hesitant, more demanding of proof of commitment from the man, before giving up the keys to the keep. But that female reluctance to surrender to every cad and rogue who comes along, seems to have fallen by the way. We appear to be living in the age of easy women.
The issue is partly one of supply and demand, and it begins at US colleges, where 57% of students are women. With such an imbalanced sex ratio, women are using hookups to compete with other women for men’s affections. Once they get out of school, the pool of successful, educated men also is imbalanced, and the bed-hopping continues.

Regnerus likens the price of sex to the housing market. Too many foreclosures in one community, and the price of neighboring homes start to plummet. This is why single women in New York sometimes feel as though sex on the first date is a given: According to the market, it is.

“Every sex act is part of a ‘pricing’ of sex for subsequent relationships,” Regnerus said. “If sex has been very easy to get for a particular young man for many years and over the course of multiple relationships, what would eventually prompt him to pay a lot for it in the future -- that is, committing to marry?” _NYP


It is becoming harder for women to get men to fall in love with them, when the path to love is being short-circuited so quickly by easy sex. Many man cannot seem to get beyond the stage of early sex to the more complex stage of "love."
So, what can women do to return the balance of sexual power in their favor? Stop putting out, experts say. If women collectively decided to cross their legs, the price of sex would soar and women would regain control of the market. Like a whoopie cartel.

Women in less egalitarian countries do tend to restrict sex as a means of keeping the cost high. This makes sense when women have no access to education and employment. But in the US, it would take a major cultural movement for women to convince each other to say no to nookie.

“Let’s be realistic: It’s not going to happen here,” Regnerus says. “Women don’t really need men and marriage -- economically, socially, and culturally -- like they once did. What I hear in interviews with women is plenty of complaining about men or about the dating scene, but their annoyance is seldom directed at other women.” _NYP
On the other hand, perhaps the belief that women do not need men and a committed relationship, is as much a superficial delusion as the delusion that a lot of easy sex will bring long term happiness. Perhaps young women have been led down a rocky, arid path that leads to childlessness and a long, loveless middle age and senescence? We can always hope that it will not lead to that.

Al Fin comments: Children have been increasingly sheltered from risk and responsibility, as the number of children in each family has shrunk. Parents now have "trophy children" -- perhaps only one child, or two at most. These children are pampered and sheltered, made to feel special, without being given the competencies which would truly make them special. Their self-esteem is often so hugely dependent on external reinforcements that it requires constant boosting from the outside.

Entire generations of Peter Pans and Cinderellas have danced around issues of life, love, responsibility, and commitment, without actually understanding the larger stage that they occupy. Consequently, demographic changes in the western world are bringing things to a crisis point.

But as you can see from the piece above, young people have not learned anything from the monumental changes that have been going on around them. So they will be unprepared when the larger shocks of destructive debt and demographic decline truly rock their worlds.

What a downer. Pass the margueritas -- or the margaritas, if you must!.

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